Category Archives: exercises in style

The same story written in different styles.

The original Story:

The 8:08 train to London stopped at the platform under a wintry sky. A woman, who was dressed in a beige overcoat and black boots, got onboard and moved quickly to find a seat. Upon sitting down she was confronted by a man, with curly hair, who was holding her scarf that she had dropped. She blushed a little, said thank you. He lingered, it seemed like he had wanted to say something, but didn’t and walked off. The next morning they were seen exchanging smiles.

03 Passive

The 8:08 train was brought to a stop at the platform under a wintry sky. It was boarded by a woman, who was dressed in a beige overcoat and black boots. Once she was onboard a seat was found and she was confronted by a man with curly hair who had been moved to pick up her scarf that had been dropped by her not a moment earlier. Her face was turned a shade of red by her inhibitions as she said thank you and he was held in a moment of indecision before his legs were used to walk off. The next morning they were seen exchanging smiles.

02 Cross Examination

Q:
A: The 8:08 Train to London
Q:
A: A Beige Overcoat and Black Boots
Q:
A: Curly hair. I don’t remember anything else.
Q:
A: She had dropped her scarf. He was handing it to her.
Q:
A: He didn’t say anything, but it seemed like he had wanted to.
Q:
A: Nothing else, he walked away.
Q:
A: Yes, the next day. They were smiling at each other.
Q:
A: No, I haven’t
Q:
A: No.

01 Retrograde

They exchanged smiles. The day before the woman had blushed as a man, with curly hair, lingered while returning her scarf that she had dropped. She hadn’t noticed it fall as in her beige coat and black boots she quickly got on board, under a wintry sky, the 8:08 train to London.

Eight minutes past Eight

The 8:08 train to London stopped at the platform under a wintry sky. A woman dressed in a beige overcoat and black boots got onboard and moved quickly to find a seat. Upon sitting down she was confronted by a man, with curly hair, who was holding her scarf that she had dropped. She blushed a little, said thank you. He lingered, it seemed like he had wanted to say something, but didn’t and walked off. The next morning they were seen exchanging smiles.

Exercises in style